


incertae sedis

by laurel_crown



Category: Are You Alice?
Genre: Gen, Stealth Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 19:11:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurel_crown/pseuds/laurel_crown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alice stumbles across new worlds and drags Hatter along for the ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	incertae sedis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meadz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meadz/gifts).



> The title is a Latin phrase used in taxonomy (naming animals, not stuffing them - that's taxidermy!) It translates as 'of uncertain position' - the fancy way of saying we don't know exactly where this thing belongs. Alice certainly doesn't know.

“I give up!”

Alice stormed into the room and glared as Hatter kept sipping tea. It was not the response he was hoping for.

“I’ll _never_ be able to shoot straight.” Alice flopped onto the couch, draping his limbs off the sides for extra emphasis. “The White Rabbit has a sword, right? Why can’t I have one as well? I’m sure I’d stand a better chance of beating him then.”

“No you wouldn’t.” Alice raised his head, but Hatter was still staring at the wall. Like he wasn’t worth looking at.

_Imposter._

“You’d be even more useless with a sword, believe me.” Hatter smirked, finally turning his head so Alice could see. “And guns are so much more … elegant.”

Alice scowled. “Of course _you’d_ say that.” He watched Hatter for a few more seconds, but he seemed no closer to finishing that damn cup of tea. “Aren’t we supposed to be going to the Pool of Tears?”

“That _mouse_ poured his disgusting liquor into my _tea_. I needed a replacement to recover.”

“Does it have to take so _long?”_

Hatter raised his eyebrows. “I thought you’d enjoy the break from getting lost in childishly simple books, and entering pubs through the roof.” 

“… Jerk,” said Alice, since no other retort came to mind. He stood up. “I’m going to wait outside. Maybe I’ll be attacked by regrets, and you’ll finally get up.”

Hatter said nothing as he walked over to the door, and stepped into the passageway. Alice huffed. It looked like he would just have to wait.

“At least I can get some fresh air while I’m at it,” he muttered, opening the outside door. But his foot caught when he went through, and the world blurred as he fell forward, forward … too far.

 

Alice got up slowly and turned, but as he’d feared, Hatter’s shop had gone. The street didn’t look too different, though – maybe it was just some weird Wonderland shortcut for getting to the next neighbourhood? He started walking. If he found someone who wasn’t too scared to talk to him, he could ask directions …

Alice looked around the corner and saw a tall figure with dark curly hair, facing the other way. He ran down the road, and was just thinking Hatter must have cut his hair real quick when the man turned around.

Alice skidded to a halt, staring, and thankfully the man seemed content to gaze back. Definitely _not_ Hatter, then. For one thing, Hatter would never wear anything so mundane as a scarf. That was Dormouse’s style.

“Hello.” Another man stepped out from behind the first, with a resigned expression Alice knew well.

“Uh, hi.”

“Have you found it yet?” said Not-Hatter abruptly.

Alice recoiled. “What?”

“Found what?” the short one asked at the same time.

“Obviously not.” The taller man turned to his companion, but his eyes flicked back to rest on Alice. “Himself. Honestly, John, you only have to _look_.”

“Alice, do _not_ stop to talk to the locals when you’ve gotten lost again.”

Alice spun around. “Hatter?” He never thought he’d be glad to hear that sarcasm. He started moving towards where the voice had come from, the strangers’ conversation fading behind him.

“Did he just say …”

Alice reached the corner and saw nothing but blackness. He took a deep breath and stepped forward, holding out his hands. One step, two – and his fingers touched something. He flinched in surprise, opening his eyes again to see Hatter and his shop, standing there like they’d never disappeared.

“I really can’t take my eye off you for a second, can I?” Hatter pushed his hat further down and sighed. “Of course you’d go outside right when a seam-”

“Ah, Hatter?” The world was going fuzzy again. Alice reached out, managing to catch Hatter’s arm. Then there was the sound of ripping paper, and the ground disappeared.

 

Alice stopped screaming only when he hit solid ground again, butt-first. His head snapped back, and he lay still for a few moments watching the stars swim across the dark sky. He frowned. Wasn’t it supposed to be daytime?

“Oy.” Hatter leaned into view and gave him a nudge. “Get up. The least you can do is take a look at the mess you’ve landed us in.”

Alice obeyed, and stood looking up at the sign that proclaimed they were at the entrance to the _Carnival of Dreams_. At least the sign was less tacky this time, though that didn’t stop a shiver from crawling down his back. If the dreams were anything like the ones he’d been having recently …

“ _As_ you can see,” said Hatter in his why-do-I-even-bother voice, “your unrivalled stupidity has now brought both of us through the seam.”

“I- what?” Alice switched his confused stare to Hatter. “How is this _my_ fault? And what’s a seam?”

“A join between pages, what do you think?” Hatter pulled out a cigarette, lit up, and walked over to the sign. “Wonderland isn’t in the best condition, so sometimes they tear apart a little. And idiots fall through.” He smirked, pale smoke curling from his lips. “Bet it pisses that rabbit off to no end.”

“Wh-” Alice hesitated, knowing a _wherefore_ wouldn’t get answered. “Where are we then?”

Hatter shrugged. “Elsewhere.” He poked his head into the first tent by the entrance, and harrumphed.

Alice scowled at his back. “That’s not helpful.”

“Forgotten how to read now, have we?” Hatter came over, blowing smoke in Alice’s face as he continued. “Wherever we are, it’s not the Pool of Tears. So stop complaining and help me find the way out.”

Alice settled for grumbling under his breath as he trailed behind Hatter, looking into tents on the left while Hatter looked on the right. Most were dark and probably empty, though sometimes when he made a wider gap he caught glimpses of seats. A few had dim lights reflecting off motionless games, glass cases, an abandoned theatre set. Waiting.

“Some carnival this is,” said Alice, already bored. He waved a hand at the rows of black tents. “I thought they were meant to be colourful, filled with … stuff. Exciting stuff. And people!”

“You can’t expect a pocket world like this to be _populated_.”

He poked out his tongue while Hatter searched another tent, but it didn’t really cheer him up. To be honest, the place was starting to creep him out. So naturally, when they came to a crossroads, Hatter said the last thing Alice wanted to hear.

“Let’s split up.”

“No.”

“We’ll get through faster.”

“I don’t even know what I’m looking for!”

“It should stand out.” Hatter brushed some invisible dirt from his jacket and moved off. “Yell if you find anything.”

Alice clenched his fists. He was _not_ afraid. “What if something tries to kill me?”

Hatter flapped a hand at him over his shoulder. “Scream.”

 

Well, at least he could grumble louder now they’d separated. Alice batted aside tent flaps, experimenting with insults to find the best phrase. _Dim-witted caricature?_ Nothing in that tent. _Trigger-happy …_

He lost his train of thought when he came to the next tent. He blinked down at the tiny triangle of cloth, standing only half a metre off the ground.

“I hope _you’re_ not the way out,” Alice told it. He crouched down and opened it with a finger, craning his head to see inside. The tent housed a miniature garden, internal light glinting off metal plants. The whole thing looked like the inner workings of some bizarre clock.

He almost expected the parts to move, but they were as frozen as the other tents’ contents had been. Alice breathed a sigh of relief and moved on. This tent had a giant glass cylinder in it, with a poster hanging on one side – a bottle, perhaps. Whatever it was, there wasn’t anything inside.

This was such a waste of time. He resumed his mental tirade as he walked to the opposite tent. _Assassin_ always seemed to rile Hatter, what would that work with? Another empty-

Alice stopped. The neighbouring tent had a sign out the front. He hadn’t found a sign before. He drew breath to call for Hatter, but didn’t speak. What if it was nothing? He needed more time to practice the tone of his insults, anyway.

Alice walked slowly up to the sign. _Hall of Mirrors_. And, in smaller letters underneath, _The Humble Looking Glass Like You’ve Never Seen It Before!_

Worth a look, certainly. He should check it wasn’t empty before fetching Hatter. To start, he examined the outside, but it was as nondescript as the other tents. Fairly small, only a few paces across, though there was no way to tell how deep it went.

He lifted the flap, saw light flash off a surface, but the rest of the tent was lost in the gloom. Alice thought briefly about getting Hatter now, then stepped forward. It was _his_ discovery, he should explore it first.

The mirror by the entrance had an ornate, round frame, but Alice wasn’t looking at that. He was staring at his reflection, which was wearing that ridiculous dress and wig Hatter had said would appease the Queen. He looked down at himself, but the white suit was still there. He patted it, just to make sure.

Alice scowled at the figure in the dress. “That’s _not funny_.”

His reflection winked, and gave him a coy smile.

Alice jerked back, and the reflection did too. He stood still, breathing hard, but the image didn’t do anything else. He looked at the flap. Did this count as different? It could just be a functioning entertainment. He turned his head, and saw another patch of light further on. 

Curiosity beckoned. Alice poked his head outside. “Hey, Hatter!” he shouted, loud as he could. “I found something!” Then he went over to the second mirror.

This one curved outwards, so the reflection was shortened. But it wasn’t even Alice – it was the Duchess.

“Ah, hell.” He laid a hand on the glass, and watched her copy his wave with the other. He wanted to smile, so the Duchess would stop looking so sad, but he couldn’t. 

_It’s your fault she’s dead, Alice!_

His breath hitched. “I’m …”

The Duchess’ eyebrows shifted, just a little. “Do you still want to become Alice?”

“Ah!” Alice stumbled backwards, and she followed his movements. “So they talk as well,” he muttered, once he could speak again. “Great.”

He tried to shake the goose bumps from his arms as he walked to the next mirror. It had sounded just like her, too. Alice held his breath as he stepped in front of the third mirror, which was concave. And let it out when he saw the elongated reflection.

“Hatter?” Alice moved around to check he hadn’t snuck in to scare him. It did seem to be another reflection: the image of Hatter pulled the exact same faces. “But you’re here already. So why …?”

“Why? You say the strangest things.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Alice tilted his head, and Hatter copied him. “Isn’t Alice supposed to be curious, anyway?” 

No reply. Maybe these things could only talk once. He pulled out his gun, intending to point it at the mirror like they were having a standoff, then paused. He didn’t want to test just how real these reflections were. 

He kept the gun in his hand as he walked to the back of the tent, though. He could at least threaten someone with it, even if he couldn’t kill them. Or maybe he could – were they even in Wonderland anymore?

There were no further mirrors in the tent, as far as he could see. But when Alice brushed the dark curtain in front of him it rippled, like it was unsecured. He pushed it aside, ducked past and found himself surrounded by mirrors. Layers of them hung at all angles, large and small, clean and dirty. Even the ceiling had mirrors on it, and the floor felt hard and smooth beneath his feet.

At first the mirrors showed his own reflection, but when he looked at one again a black stain spread like ink across its surface. Then all the mirrors at once changed to images of girls. He knew immediately they were all the previous Alices.

They started battering at the glass, tinny voices raised in a chorus of threatening, pleading, bargaining. _Give it back to me._

Spooked, he turned to leave but the curtain had gone. In its place was a full-length mirror, where the 88th Alice was staring at him.

“I was _so_ much better at this than you,” she said, with that sweet smile. “You’ll never be a proper Alice. The White Rabbit didn’t choose you, he chose _me!”_ She stepped forward and smashed her fists against the mirror. To his horror, Alice saw it crack slightly. “Give it back to me, imposter!” _Thud_. “Murderer!”

“No!” Alice fired at her teary face, then rammed his shoulder into the mirror before she could try to break free. It splintered easily, making him stagger and fall amongst the shards of glass.

He raised himself onto his elbows, and looked down into a large fragment. It was that girl, lying on her back all twisted and bloodstained.

 _Sister?_ Was that right?

“But you _did_ kill me, Alice.” The whisper came from behind him.

Alice scrambled to his feet and ran outside, nearly colliding with Hatter. He, of course, was smoking calmly and looked suave as ever.

“What _now?”_ said Hatter, as Alice bent over, panting. “Don’t tell me you were attacked in the first tent you went into alone.” 

Alice looked up, scowling, but Hatter was absorbed in grinding the cigarette beneath his shoe. “I don’t think that’s the way out,” said Alice.

“Yet you called me anyway.” Hatter pulled out his watch and sighed. “I’m going to be _so_ late for tea.” Then he frowned. “Wait. How did you get back the first time?”

Alice jumped at the opportunity. “I followed your _dulcet tones_ home again.”

Hatter rolled his eyes, the very image of world-weariness. “Not an option.”

“I think …” Alice paused to do just that. “I think I went back to where I came in from.” Which made sense, but …

“That’s the sky here, genius.” 

“I know!”

Hatter gritted his teeth, like he was biting down on his rage. “I don’t suppose you found something _useful_ in that tent, like some bat wings? Or a tea-tray?”

“A _what?”_ Alice stared, but Hatter seemed perfectly serious. “Ah, no. Just … regrets. In the mirrors,” he added quickly, as Hatter pulled out his gun. “I think it’s safe out here.”

“Like I’d trust _your_ opinion.” Hatter stepped in front of Alice, eyes fixed on the tent. “Find a way to get up there before you’re proved spectacularly wrong. Again.”

Alice glared at Hatter, and then switched his gaze to the stars. How the hell were they supposed to get-

Oh.

“Hatter, look.” He pointed until Hatter saw it too – the spindly frame of a huge wheel visible only by a lack of starlight.

 

Ten minutes later, they were standing looking up at the wheel. There were baskets hanging at regular intervals, which would have been handy if the wheel had been actually turning. As it was, it seemed they would have to climb up by feel, since the lights didn’t work either.

“You first.”

“No, I insist. You go.”

“This was your idea.”

“Exactly! I’m sharing the glory.”

“Alice of Wonderland should always go somewhere new first.”

“No, Alice’s _protector_ should go first, in case he gets attacked by regrets!”

Hatter tilted his head. “I thought you said they were only in the mirrors.”

“I’m bowing to your better judgement.” Alice smirked as Hatter started climbing without another word. No doubt Hatter would make him pay for that remark next time they argued, but for now, he’d won. 

Alice was not entirely surprised to learn he didn’t like scaling possibly unsteady structures at night. Not that he’d ever tell him, but having Hatter’s impassive figure to follow helped – even if all Alice could make out were his legs.

Which stopped so abruptly Alice nearly ran into them. “What?”

“I can’t see anything.”

Alice smiled – he’d screwed his eyes shut as soon as they’d halted. “Neither can- _ow!”_

Hatter had grabbed his arm and pulled, and Alice was certain it was about to come out of its socket altogether when they were falling through the dark.

Falling? It was the wrong direction. You couldn’t really fall _upwards_ , but that’s what it felt like. He needed better taste in verbs. Then gravity switched again – he certainly felt _that_ – and they were back outside Hatter’s shop. 

Alice looked around while Hatter dusted off his hat, checked his watch and lit up.

“Come on.” Hatter gave him a shove. “Enough sightseeing, let’s go.”

For once, Alice agreed. He’d seen quite enough crazy things for one day, but Wonderland wouldn’t have finished yet. Then he grinned. He might have no idea who he was or where he belonged, but at least life was interesting. And no one was going to take that away from him.


End file.
